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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24213028">Guilty Conscious</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imtheseme/pseuds/Imtheseme'>Imtheseme</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I still cannot tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, i am trying though, past wolfstar - Freeform, wolfstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:29:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,088</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24213028</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imtheseme/pseuds/Imtheseme</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You were supposed to trust me", Sirius had whipped around to face Remus now.</p><p>"There was a spy amongst us! It could have been anyone", Now Remus had raised his voice too. He stood up with anger, his chair crashing loudly on the wooden floor behind him. The teacup now laid forgotten on the table. "And with you being a…"</p><p>"Don't you say it".</p><p>"...a Black, what was I supposed to think"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Guilty Conscious</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The tension had been building at Number twelve Grimmauld Place for about two weeks now. Ever since Sirius Black and Remus Lupin arrived from Lupin's tiny flat. It didn't even diminish with the arrival of Harry, if anything it seemed as if the air grew even thicker with resentment. Whenever the marauders were in the same room it seemed as though one word could set either of them off.</p><p>So when Molly Weasley woke to the sounds of breaking glass and yelling  coming from the downstairs kitchen she wasn't all that surprised the tension had come to a head. She was however a bit annoyed it happened this early morning, before the sun had even fully risen. she wasn't alone when she came rushing down the stairs,it seemed. As though the whole Weasley clan (both biological and unofficially adopted) had come to see what the fuss was about.</p><p>"That's bullshit Rem, and you know it", that was Sirius yelling alright. He was standing facing away from Remus, his hands gripping the counter top firmly in his fury.Remus was quite the contradiction, it was obvious he was angry but he seemed to have it reigned under control, he was almost scarily calm.  He was sitting at the small kitchenette table sipping some tea from a pretty green teacup. There was a matching teacup shattered on the floor between them.</p><p>"What was I supposed to do Sirius", Remus sounded tired as he spoke, as though they've had this conversation a few times before. there also was a cool cut undertone that sounded accusatory. It served only to egg Sirius on.</p><p>Molly had seen enough to turn tail and start ushering the others back upstairs. this little row of theirs hardly needed to be overheard by children. Though with how loud they were being, she lives under no delusions that being upstairs would quell anyone from hearing. Hopefully getting this argument out of the way  would help with the pent up anger surrounding the two.</p><p>"You were supposed to trust me", Sirius had whipped around to face Remus now.</p><p>"There was a spy amongst us! It could have been anyone", Now Remus had raised his voice too. He stood up with anger, his chair crashing loudly on the wooden floor behind him. The teacup now laid forgotten on the table. "And with you being a…"</p><p>"Don't you say it".</p><p>"...a Black, what was I supposed to think".</p><p>Betrayal flashed across Sirius's face, he looked as though he wanted to strangle the werewolf, instead he pulled at the roots of his own hair in frustration. It would have seemed impossible for Sirius to holler any louder than he did at that moment.</p><p>"A Black! How could you say that! You know what my family did to me! How they treated me! Why would I betray the person who rescued me from that. Who gave me a home and a family that loved me! James was my family! My brother! I would never-no I could never double cross him!", Sirius was beyond livid at this point, his eyes filling up with angry tears that he did his best not to let fall.</p><p>"It's not like you didn't have suspicions of me" Remus screamed back. Sirius took three short steps towards the man, upturning the table out of the way causing the destruction of yet another teacup. There was nothing but air between them now.</p><p>"I never suspected you for a second Remus Lupin".</p><p>"Why not?!", Remus threw his hands up in tight jerky movements. "You know what I am! I was just as likely to be the mole as you were".</p><p>Sirius closed the little space that was between them and roughly grabbed Remus by the front of his sweater and shoved him into the closest wall. It was hopeless now, the tears were streaming down his face. </p><p>"I LOVED YOU!".</p><p>There was a long pause of silence between the two. With his face this close Remus was reminded that Sirius could do to eat a bit more, his cheeks were still sunken in. Sleep looked to be evading his friend as well going by the dark smudges under his eyes. Both those thoughts caused a pang of worry to run through him, argument be damned. </p><p>Sirius loosened his grasp on Remus. "I loved you", he repeated softly this time, "I refused to be their secret keeper when James had come to me asking about it, because I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to...it would've been dangerous, obviously, I didn't want to jeopardize our future together. I didn't want to die when I just found something worth living for".</p><p>Sirius sounded broken now, his voice cracking on every few words, before finally letting out a loud sob. Remus quickly wrapped his arms around him, one hand grasping as Sirius's back and the other cradling his head that was now resting in the crook of his neck. "It's my fault Rem, it's all my fault. If i hadn't been so selfish then…" he broke into another sobbing fit. They racked his body causing him to tremble from the force of them.</p><p>"Shh shh shhhh", Remus hushed, "none of that now. It wasn't your fault…"</p><p>"But…".</p><p>"No. It wasn't your fault. James wouldn't want you to be blaming yourself", Remus continued to comfort him. They were rocking at this point, back and forth. Sirius almost felt like a child being lulled by their mother. It did however, seem to do the trick as Sirius's sobs, turned to cries, turned to whimpers. He felt as though he had no more tears to give anymore, just completely drained.</p><p>"Now then, let's get you to bed. You've barely slept since we've come here, don't think I didn't notice". Sirius seemed to mumble something about bad memories and hating this place. Remus just nodded along and guided him to one of the empty bedrooms on the main floor, flicking his wand behind him once or twice to clean up the mess they had made.</p><p>"I still love you", Sirius confessed as he let Remus push him down so he was lying on the plush bed.He seemed almost panicked to let Remus know that. To let him know that his love wasn’t just past tense.</p><p>"I know", Remus gave him a meaningful look as he crawled into the bed next to him. He covered them both up before embracing Sirius once again so they were face to face. "I still love you too".</p>
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